Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
