Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
