i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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