your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
