"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
