I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
