We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
