My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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