Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
