Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
