i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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