I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
we're so committed to being not committed
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
