awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
