She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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