so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
