Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
