I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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