i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
