Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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