She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
home. puking in laundry basket.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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