We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
