She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
