"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
