You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize