Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
