i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
