and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
