omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
