Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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