If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
