Operation Purity has been aborted
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
