I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize