he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
