Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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