i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
