I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
