So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
