I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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