Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
How does one acquire holy water?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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