Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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