You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I got inside last night via doggy door
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
