Please, let me fuck your mom
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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