Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
