I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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