we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
