Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
