season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
