Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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