To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Holy sore nipples Batman
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
