so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
