my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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