I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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