i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
