So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
