So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
