I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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