Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I have feelings that need drinking.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
