If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
