Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
