redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize